The Search for Love


I believe every one of us at one time or the other starts searching for love. Some go through their whole life ignoring their hearts desire just to search feverishly for what is it that matters on their death beds. Some others are truly lucky, Love finds them. Love presents itself in front of them in such lovely ways that it is impossible for anyone to ignore. Lucky Bastards. But many of us are not that fortunate yet we don’t give up, we are not undermined, we search for it with all our vigor.


Why do I love the silence of the moon,

The paradisal distance of the dawn,


I believe myself lucky when it comes to love. No, love did not show itself in front of me and knock on my door but I did not had to search much to find it an I was luckier still that I knew it when I found it. It really is true that when true love blossoms its hard to ignore and impossible to notice. It feels like the whole and everything in it comes to be revolving around that special someone. What you do and what you think, everything starts and ends with that someone.


The depth of eve mysteriously withdrawn,

Better than all the roses of late June,



One can always force oneself to love a person but that is not the true nature of love. At all times such love shall feel empty and its abysmal absence felt upon mankind? One cam always adjust, analyze and feel secure in love. Love is inherently volatile, unyielding and never shape. It is as chaotic as the moments of genesis was and so is it just as tranquil and serene as the midnight lakes. Love takes no prisoners nor ever call for peace, yet it is never the war nor the clandestine blood splatter.



The garden’s breath, the orchard’s golden boon,

The burning brightness of the new-mown lawn,

I had my heart broken not once, not twice nor thrice but many more a times. It has been bruised and it has been violated beyond healing, yet my heart could not stop itself from the vindictive search for love. Then came the absence, the abstinence and the stale doldrums and after all of the hells ailments came the light and came the peace.


The mossy forest-floor with beech-mast strawn,

And green trees waving in the depth of noon.

It was a smile at first and then a giggle, It was a hello at first and then serene silence, a touch then its prolonged absence, an emptiness and then the feeling of universal belonging and then the feeling of weightlessness sans hunger sans thirst. Like the vagabond clouds in the heaven his mighty and afterwards the freshness of the virgin earth at the first touch of the mighty rain.

Night hath her dreams and the lone heart its tears;

Silence and longing weep themselves to rest


Then one day in the autumnal bliss of the solitary morning, in her lovely poster resembling much mighty artists’ works and in the absence of time, space and reason I knew, I knew what is it that I held in my heart and unknowingly sans reason and logic I drew her near and sealed us with a kiss. Not a long prolonged slobbering of lust but the lightest brushing my trembling lips on her snow like cheek.



Each on the other’s mild and maiden breast;

The seeking spirit sighs, the dim star hears;


Oh Bliss Eternal. This was the moment of great love that had extended many a millennia, time was not in any hurry and reason had not one bit of sand to stand upon. This was our moment and our alone and the all the earth and the heavens above were ours and ours alone. This was my moment of enlightening   and my moment of atonement. The final act of supreme love and from it came love and love only.

Distance and high devotion suit the best,

And deep as thy deep eyes the dawn appears.

Mile Sur Mera Thumara

One for the sake of the old times, when all we had was Doordarshan and its occasionally broadcasted patriotic songs. This one was a jewel among the many that would pop up occasionally and that never fails to ignite in us the feeling of brotherhood.

How simpler can it ever be to say that we are one and our voice is one. Mile Sur Mera Thumara was a concept developed by the Lok Seva Sanchar Parishad in 1988, But this particular song was composed by Ashok Patki and written by Piyush Pandey. The video managed to highlight the rich diversity and linguistic differences and the integrity that prevailed in spite of that in our nation of unity and diversity. 

The newer version is nothing but a shadow the original, its such a shame that in spite of all the rich talent we have we are unable to reiterate the spirit of this song again. Somewhere along the line they lost track of  what the purpose of the song was and what it stood for and what it means to the billion people of this nation.

The Lyrics for all who wants to just sing along

[hi] milē sur merā tumhārā, tō sur banē hamārā
sur kī nadiyān̐ har diśā sē, bahte sāgar men̐ milē
bādalōn̐ kā rūp lēkar, barse halkē halkē
milē sur merā tumhārā, tō sur banē hamārā
milē sur merā tumhārā
[ks] Chaain taraz tai myain taraz, ik watt baniye saayen taraz
[pa] tērā sur milē mērē sur dē nāl, milkē baṇē ikk navān̐ sur tāl
[hi] milē sur merā tumhārā, tō sur banē hamārā
[sn] mun̐hin̐jō sur tun̐hin̐jē sān̐ piyārā milē jad̤ahin̐, gīt asān̐jō madhur tarānō baṇē tad̤ahin̐
[ur] sur ka darya bahte sagar men mile
[pa] bādalān̐ dā rūp laikē, barsan haulē haulē
[ta] Isaindhal namm iruvarin suramum namadhagum
Dhisai veru aanalum aazhi ser aarugal Mugilai
mazhaiyai pozhivadu pol isai
Nam isai
[kn] nanna dhvanige ninna dhvaniya, sēridante namma dhvaniya
[te] nā svaramu nī svaramu sangamamai, mana svaranḡa avatarinchē
[ml] eṉṯe svaravum niṅṅkaḷoṭe svaravum, ottucērnnu namoṭe svaramāy
[bn] tōmār śūr mōdēr śūr, sriṣṭi kōruk ōikōśūr
[as] sriṣṭi hauk aikyatān
[or] tuma āmara svarara miḷana, sriṣṭi kari chālu ekā tāna
[gu] maḷē sur jō tārō mārō, banē āpṇō sur nirāḷō
[mr] mājhyā tumchyā juḷtā tārā, madhur surānchyā barastī dhārā
[hi] sur kī nadiyān̐ har diśā sē, bahte sāgar men̐ milē
bādalōn̐ kā rūp lēkar, barse halkē halkē
milē sur merā tumhārā, tō sur banē hamārā

The College Road Trip

Have I ever told you how cupid played my side of the story, I guess not. So here goes my little love story on wheels.
It was on a cold December evening that we started on our college road trip, but little did I know that my life is not going to be the same again after this trip. In between the cold caskets of December nights with the winter mist casting its shadows on our window and slow tremors of our rather creaky railroad moments bloomed. There were the smiles and there were the looking in the eyes, slow humming and the magnificent feeling of her warm skin against mine. This was one journey that was about to offer much more than my most wishes combined together and it just had one hell of an opening night.  Of the many unforgettable things that happened in this week away, I for the sake of sticking to the mushy stuff skip a few of the things that have my tummy aching  even as I just write about it.

  

Our special moment must be the one we had during our shopping time in Bangalore (formally Bengaluru, but still Bangalore is romantic to me). In the city of gardens bloomed our dreams and I should say for a city of flower it has its jinx on us even now just for the sheer number of couples it generated over a single night. I must say electronic city is the least romantic part of the metropolis and there we were lost, unfortunately I, she and a few very good friends of ours were lost in its many nooks and cranny. For starters we were all there as a group to get a few souvenirs for taking home and among the boulevards and global retails houses we lost track of time and direction. Walking from one giant glass paned window to another is not a good way to know where one is going but who really cares; the world was a truly wonderful place then. After a very long time a huge number of shops we realized the unfortunate truth. The college bus has left without us!
It was a pretty good moment to freak out and since I am writing the story I am going to say I freaked out last but me and friends are yet to come to a conclusion on who freaked out first and both parties don’t seem to want to lose any bit of ground. So since I freaked out last it was rather a scary situation to be, we were in city none of us ever has been to and it was getting a bit dark too. So we called up someone on the phone who happened to get the bus and thanks to him we got to know that we were not the only ones to miss the bus and we also learned that the bus is somewhere far and would be coming back for us in about half an hour, Hweeee talk about a relief. So relieved and happy with an extra half an hour of shopping left we started making our return trip to the boarding point and guess what, there was our bus standing there at our boarding point. We were about a couple hundred meters away from the bus.
We started running all together towards the bus furious at the idiot who misled us and believe it or not just then the stupid bus started moving. Then it happened in the heat of the moment without another thought I took her hands and started running towards the bus. In a few hazy steps I realized what I did and I dropped her hand and I stopped. I looked at her eyes and she was just staring at me, amidst all the yelling and screaming from my ‘lovely and civil’ friends we stood there for a few moments. These are the kind of moments where we go for the kiss in Hollywood style movies but all she did was smile and I was a bit shy to kiss her then with all those guys staring at us.
Oh! By the way we did lose this bus and another bus had to come get us, and all my friends were kind of happy we missed it then. But one thing is for sure amongst all the adventures and the moments of closeness we shared in this trip including dining together many times then and getting to tie a necklace round her neck this is the moment I remember the trip by. It was the one moment that made all the difference in an otherwise coed relationship. Holding hands and falling in the abyss of love only come second to the magic of the moment with all the blurred up lights and kaleidoscopic boulevard of dreams.
We went on to be together all the time in the trip and still very much is happening around us, the magic of that moment may be special to that night but the love is so omniscient now that it’s a Bangalore trip every time I am with her and now… She is my girl and I her man, bounded by more than just a ring and thread.

An Amazing Ad

When I found this ad lying around in a dusty corner of this laptop, My first reaction was to throw it right out. It was old, it was viewed and it was unused for a long time. But then I thought of just playing it once and I just had to share it with all you wonderful people.

Its not everyday that you come across that really touches your heart and it has something, something more than just the brand it represents. This ad contains some of the finest emotions in all its subtlety. It truly is a remarkable and beautiful add, very moving utterly touching.

The Little Big Things


Every journey is a new experience, no matter how often, no matter how short they tend to be. It’s not the journey that matters, not as much as the people we get to meet and life we get to experience. Every dawn and every dusk brings along with it a hoard of experiences that are just waiting to be discovered. This is the story of just one of the many interesting people I got to meet in my numerous journeys that made me realise that life is not something sacred; it is what happens right in front of our eyes, everyday. Don’t for one second think that I am an adept traveller, the sad truth is that I started travelling out of necessity and though I prefer the familiar comforts of my writing desk it has given me a chance to experience life as it is, raw and unadulterated.

It must be in one of those dreary Friday evenings that keep coming up every week, offering a strange intoxicating mix of anticipation, relief and happiness that this happened. I was supposedly going home after a week’s hectic schedule and it was literally killing me that I had to wait further for it to happen. I have had a practise of going with a couple of really goods friends; we have been travelling home together since we were travelling home at all. But today they had to pack and they were late, late enough to let me fend on my own. The necessities of the travel insisted that I find a suitable mode of transportation, an autorikshaw ( for those of you unfamiliar with the word, it is a three wheeled public transport vehicle in black and yellow or either, refer any Bollywood flick to know more . It’s easy to spot and hard to forget, for us it’s just a way of life like taxi is to New Yorkers.) is what I had in mind. It was not hard to find one, certainly not on a Friday.

Okay! That matters too!


Soon I landed a certain driver who was more than just willing to take us to the railway station that we needed to get, but since my friends were still packing I had to wait for them to come. Poor chap readily agreed to wait along with me; I must say he was a jolly good fellow to spend time with. Now just for the record I had to wait a good 45 minutes for my friends to come and hence being late for all the right trains. But then again that gave me this rather valuable lesson in life.

The little ones knows much more about little things than us!
The long wait let us on the streets with nothing much top do but talk, though a practical lover of silence I would always like some company at times. He insisted on talking as he would occasionally blurt out some random question or the other (like does every one speak English in the campus) and so and so. I did take a liking to him. Things didn’t get any interesting till a friend of his dropped by and they got talking. The truth is I never intended to eavesdrop on those guys as I was happily trotting away in my own imaginary world. The startling reminiscence of innocence in their routine chat drew my attention to them and their conversations. He was talking about his luck and I was instantly interested in knowing what lady luck has bestowed upon him, the truth was it was me, rather us. I realised then how much it meant for them to have the weekly trips that we made, our travels were more essential to them than it were ever to them.

In their casual conversation lied an unmistakable scent of innocence that is otherwise unseen and unheard of today. He was talking about how lucky he was to have gotten customers that day and how he and friends were celebrating in their free time yesterday and so and so. Its not what they talked that made it important, its how is said it, how with a smile and a attitude to match he made it seem that the very basic things in life were something else entirely. Its how his words and the sentences they formed transcended what would have been just a ordinary life into a story worth talking about, a life worthy of mention. In the simplest sense he taught me how life is in every little thing we do. And what I learnt sitting under the bright evening sun on a concrete sidewall by a rather crowded piece of asphalt.

To the Best of Times.


The year is at its end, and it’s a time for a toast for all that happened this year. The good things and the bad ones, the ones I will never forget and the things I never want to remember again, the things that I am grateful for and the things I wish never happened. The year had it all for me, suspense, romance, action, drama; everything a good adventure needs and I know yours where just as much fun if not better. Now that we stand at the last days of 2011, one thought keeps me alive, much more alive that I ever was. It’s the knowledge that though a lot of good things had happened and many more did not quite work out just as well, I can rest assured that this is not over yet and the best of the moments are yet to come. Now that a beautiful year is finally about to bid adieu to us all and as the clock strikes twelve tonight, a new year will be born, an year of promises, hope and of the countless to be born memories.

As 2012 rolls in, I believe we have an obligation, an obligation to raise a toast to all the good things that made 2011 and eleven special. A toast to all the friendships we made, all the moments we lived in all the people we care about and all the people who care about us. A toast for the times we laughed out loud and all the time we cried alone tucked to a corner of the dark rooms, all the pranks we pulled and all the little things we did to make our special ones happy.

2011 was no walk in the park, it was an adventure and adventure we all shared and we together made a memory of. May 2012 be only better, may 2012 bring us more joy and prosperity, may we all go forward and not backward, may our future be just as perfect as we ourselves are. Friends some of you I know, some of you I do not, but nevertheless may all of us live a life that we always wanted. So guys please rise your glasses a for 2012 is here!………………………………Cheers! To the Best of Times.


Happy New Year, Ladies and Gentleman,
May all of us live happily ever after…




Love: A Search for Meanings




Love is still as strange to me as it has always been, in my many pursuits to understand it; I have only succeeded in failing again and again. There was a time that the very search for its meanings made me tangle myself in thoughts, so strange that I myself wonder how I ended up brewing these thoughts in my mind. Strange as it may be, I still search for its meanings, even when it had cost me many a things.



In and out, I went of many relationships. Some were a ship wreck from the very beginning while others just went in through a series of unexplainable and unfortunate events before it could finally settle itself into a sense of awkwardness. But, believe me when I say, ‘ Every one of those relations were a lesson learned’. I should also admit that some lessons were much more than what I could have ever bargained for. The sense of tarnish and humiliation that was inevitable, even when I have done it all to keep it afloat, now that’s a wee bit uncomforting.



I beg pardon from all the ladies that had to read these words, and I do accept that not all the women are of the nature I may be discussing. I would also assure you that I have always thought highly of women, but these are a few that I had to face in my small life. There were quite a few women in my life that had come at me in ways that I myself could have never envisioned. The fact is they had in me vested interested that either I have not seen or have cunningly enough hid from my eyes. I have to say this that second one was of higher probabilities. The way those things turned out were particularly humiliating for me for one simple fact, they were not of my doings.



Those were events good enough to make any reasonable man lose faith in love and I do consider myself a reasonable man indeed. The real thing I had no more trust in anyone any more. All that I loved turned out to be more of a wreck and less of any help. The one factor was common, the one thing I could no longer find in any of romantic relationships were ‘Romance’.







Magic do happen when we are least expecting it and it did itself to me. It took me over a dozen years and a couple dozen relationships before I could see it. There it was in all its glory presenting itself to me, an offering from the gods. May be the heavens had enough of my little whining that they finally decided to show me the way. There was a  new day break and there was this girl nothing special , nothing profound, simple and natural. I will tell you made her special, it was not me and it was not love, There do exist a thing called a good heart and I could see one for the first time. She touched me in a way none has ever had, her touch was not of lust nor licentious, but it was of care and it was of sincerity and guess what I was in love again and I still am.




It would be a lie if I say I have not thought of any other girl since her, but this is true no matter whom I saw and whom I fancied and the end of the day she was the one whom I wanted to go back to. She was the only one whom I would care to care about, other were just beautiful to watch but she was beautiful to live with. And hence here I am happily committed and no longer in futile searches of meanings of this that I now believe are meant not to be understood but to be experienced.